Sorry, need to vent this. I’m gonna explode if not. This will be a different post. I’ll call this “rant post”. I have been experiencing “back-stab anger” from my boss. What does that mean? She is mad at me and never mentioned to me this morning that she was furious about something I have done and instead of mentioning it to me straight to my face, she told it to her close office friend! What’s worst, that close friend of her is also my friend, and apparently she’s the one who informed me about my boss’ anger. Bypassing sigh. Yes, I admit, I have been a sh*tty secretary these past few days. My mind had been into so many places right now (I think it landed into the deserts of Saudi Arabia right now) I’m having a hard time focusing on office stuffs. Actually, I am sick of it! But, do I have any choice? Yes, to quit. But is it worth it? I don’t have any idea. There’s a lot to consider before doing that much awaited freedom. If it happens, then what? Am I able to have peace if I’m not socially active? If I don’t leave my house to do my daily chores of bringing money to our pockets, does that mean freedom? The freedom of having no boss is ecstatically amazing! Just the thought of it makes me want to jump into my seat right now (I am kinda freaking paranoid right now as I heard my boss chatting to my other senior co-workers in our pantry). I could feel my ears burning, a physiological effect on me for being embarrassed/paranoid and the likes. Need resuscitation. ASAP!
In addition, more worst than ever, my poetic juices had been little by little evaporating. My blog has been compromise by my wandering, unsteady mind. Cyber sleeping had been ineffective right now. I can’t clearly think nor write a poem, even a simple prose I can’t produce. Working to provide our necessity must be our utmost priority to extend the life of our physical body, but what about my emotional body? I’ve mentioned before that poems had been my way of bringing back my insane mind into its normal state, so writing a piece is like Advil for me, sometimes it act as my Carbamazepine.
Right now, a lot of question’s been bugging me. I don’t want to give up those stuffs that matters a lot to me, but what else must I do? Think, think… I’m spilling fake smiles right now. Could you help me WP world?
Sorry for the interruptions. Usual business will be back…someday, I hope 🙂