WARNING: DON’T READ THIS IF YOU’RE IN YOUR OFFICE, YOUR BOSS MIGHT COME OUT BEHIND YOU AND READ THIS WITH YOU.
HOW WILL YOU MAKE OFFICE/OFFICE WORK SUCKS (even more)?
Photo courtesy of: amifobornot.com
By: Jam Tamayo
Aside from the fact that your boss is an asshole power tripper, your coworkers are 100% certified BSB’s (Bitch Since Birth) and your workload is sky rocketing but your salary is digging its own grave, we all know that office or office work really sucks most of the time. You’ve had enough reading articles on how you will make your office life less miserable and a lot enjoyable. But what if we will do the other way around? How will you make your office sucks more than the usual? How can you contribute to achieve this goal? If they are making your office life miserable, why not makes theirs too? Here’s your chance to get back on them. Below are the Ten entries in making this sucked up room a lot more disastrous:
1. Invent and spill out rumors. Lots of it. The more destructive it is the better.
2. If your boss is a power tripper, try to trip him/her. Literally (just do it as clean as possible e.g. unnoticed water spills on floor)
3. Use those much kept office supplies for personal gain (e.g., use bond papers as tissue paper).
4. Fart the smelliest fart your coworkers have ever smelled while you are inside the elevator (a silent but powerful revenge for those office suckers, just try not to make a sly smile after doing that).
5. Silent the ringer of the phone of the boss’s secretary (I’ll give the full authority if that secretary is another sucker, bossy type).
6. For the BSB’s, take your revenge by sending her a photoshopped scandalous picture or a video of her boyfriend and another BSB (Note: You can have your I.T. staff as your accomplice, but be sure that he will never spill out or else, you are dead fired).
7. To beat the nepotism: If your officemate is the General Manager’s pet, let yourself be the apple of the eye of the GM’s superior. Beat the “nepomaniacs” by being a maniac yourself, only you are one (or two) steps higher.
8. You still have not had an increase in salary for five years of blood-sweating hard work? Black mail a corrupt superior.(Or anyone who has higher salary than yours and/or one who is a “nepomaniac”, as long as they have a dark secret inside the office).
9. Secretly brainstorm with your office mates on how to improve or enhance the company’s profit and performance. After compiling all the good ideas, head to your superior and offer those stuffs. You will be the brilliant employee in his eyes and will be nominated for “Best Employee of the Month” after that (this tool is very useful in fulfilling number 7; prepare your best picture for the office cork board).
10. Do not quit. Do not resign. Stay on your job and let your sucker juice flows inside your vein. And enjoy the office life!
Do these things as clean and planned as possible, and you will have the merriest and most fun-filled office and you will never experience boredom at all (perhaps, jobless for the rest of your life if you are caught). 😀
POSTSCRIPTUM: DO NOT DO THESE STUFFS IF YOU ARE NOT READY TO GET FIRED… if you are, then break a leg! 😀
Does this write up give you a little furrow? Or a furrow with a smile on your lips? Have any ideas on how to make your office MORE FUN AND EXCITING? Let me know thru your comments. ;D